The emperor has no clothes (neither one of them)
Finding our calm in the storm by applying 12-step principles to political chaos
“Don't be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.”
~Rumi
Have you ever been in a relationship with an active drug addict or alcoholic? I have–it is 24/7 crisis mode. The hiding of paraphernalia, the scheming, the manipulation, the constant gaslighting, the chaos. In my particular case, I grew up in a family where alcoholism and addiction was widespread and generations deep. It permeated my life, it was the water I swam in. Growing up in family addiction, chaos and confusion was the norm.
Drinking and drugs distort reality and allow people to believe delusions and it affects everyone in the orbit of the addict whether the others are drinking/drugging or not. I struggled and self-medicated my own unresolved trauma before finding recovery. I was a regular pot smoker when I had just finished getting a degree from Columbia University School of Public Health in the late 1990s/early 2000s. I got an interview at a hospital and it was my first opportunity to get a “real” professional job. I nailed the interview and was offered the job, then my heart sank when I found out that I had to take a drug test before the final offer. I was smoking pot daily. When I took the drug test it immediately came back positive and the offer was rescinded.
There was a moment of clouded magical thinking that I would miraculously come up clean if I just wished it away. When I was a little kid and I wanted something to not be real I would just close my eyes and pretend that I was invisible. Denial is a powerful force of human will. The unique matrix of survival skills I had gathered to cope with the cascade of losses, traumas, and sucker punches of life seemed to create a veneer of functionality. I knew I was still in need of healing but I thought I could do it while numbing out at the same time. Eventually I hit a bottom when in 2018, I had a massive hemorrhagic stroke/brain bleed, which left me partially paralyzed and disabled with no real use of my left hand. I needed to find and develop my inner warrior ethos. With an insatiable curiosity and knowledge of the past struggles of those brave souls who have come before me, books, music, art, and community provided me guidance. In the “Artist Journey ” by Steven Pressfield, he talks about the artist's journey as a continuation of the hero’s journey. After the hero returns from the proverbial battle, they come back to their community to uplift and inspire with what they learned on their journey.
“Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.”
~Erich Fromm
I can't help but apply these principles to the collective chaos and uncertainty that we are in. This is a regime of addicts, codependents, abusers, and extreme dysfunction. In 12 step programs, one concept that we talk about a lot is “principles above personalities” and that gives me guidance as to what to focus on as we embark in this treacherous time in history.
Now that I've been in recovery for many years, though the healing journey never ends, I’ve learned that sobriety is much more than just being abstinent from drugs and alcohol; there’s something called emotional sobriety that can be compromised by the flooding of internal chemicals that are manufactured by our body when emotions are in the extreme. These internal chemicals can be just as mind-altering as consuming drugs.
When one is in the throes of addiction, one really believes their own delusions and addicts are homing devices for codependent people around them who will cosign (aka enable) their bullshit.When in a delusional weird world surrounded by drugs and alcohol where everybody’s kinda out of it, it’s easy to think that that’s just normal. That said, it’s clear that Elon Musk is a very troubled person in a very dysfunctional environment in a dysfunctional culture in a dysfunctional country/system. For example, looking at that viral CPAC conference clip where Musk was clearly high as a kite and was just being completely egged on by the people around him, giving him no chance to experience the negative impact of his clearly impaired state.
There are a few things that are certain when it comes to the descent into addiction. Chaos, confusion, denial, delusions, lying, manipulation, shame, despair, craving, searching, temporary relief, and on and on, ad infinitum. Addiction is a solution to a problem that the addict can’t or won’t acknowledge, and it ultimately only works in the beginning until it doesn’t. By then 99 more problems have been added. Unraveling the tangled threads takes more than time, it requires self-inquiry and effort toward learning to love and take care of one’s self. Then life happens and those wounds can be reopened. As a trauma survivor, seeing the abusive and cruel behavior of the regime, does trigger those wounds and reignites the old neural pathways of panic and urgency. I think the doom scrolling and hyper attention to news is a way of trying to predict around corners, and it triggers that adrenaline rush that is so familiar. But my job is to think back to my simple questions that I used to navigate the LA fire: How do I take care of myself? And then how do I be of service?
When I let myself be whipped around reactively to the storm of addiction in my past or the provocative and unacceptable behavior of a dysfunctional regime, I neglect myself, my life, my dreams, my vision, my spirit. As I pray to let go of what I can’t control (other people); I pray for the courage and guidance to focus on what I have control over. In the eye of the storm is where we can collectively vision what comes after the destruction of this regime.
“The function, the very serious function of racism is distraction. It keeps you from doing your work. It keeps you explaining, over and over again, your reason for being. Somebody says you have no language and you spend twenty years proving that you do. Somebody says your head isn’t shaped properly so you have scientists working on the fact that it is. Somebody says you have no art, so you dredge that up. Somebody says you have no kingdoms, so you dredge that up. None of this is necessary. There will always be one more thing.”
―Toni Morrison
Here are resources that have been helping me:
inspiring articles/posts/newsletters:
Here’s my pep talk after studying authoritarianism by D.L. Mayfield
Anger & Indignation: Processing Our Outrage in a National Crisis by Dr. Shante | Mental Wellness
Donald Trump didn’t win by a historic landslide. It’s time to nip that lie in the bud by Mehdi Hasan
NDN Collective to Host Welcome Home Event for Leonard Peltier
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and the Promises of the American Revolution
Artists/scholars/activists/healers offering community/action:
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I love this!! Thank you so much for sharing. It’s so easy to become overwhelmed when so many are saying, “look over here” and others are saying, “look over there”. There is seemingly endless propaganda to keep us off balance so I really appreciate the list you have provided to help me/us unwind ourselves from these toxic elements.